Civilisation has nothing to offer more fair...

Than a decent toilet with a good flush and soft toilet roll.

For the past 8 years, since we moved in, the toilet downstairs (the 'guest' toilet) has been a nightmare vision of dirty cream loo and stained basin, peeling striped vinyl walpaper and a light the hideousness of which defies description. And I'm good with words.

I know, I know, I could have decorated around the brown-stained sanitary ware, but my heart always sank when I went in there. Which strikes me as wrong.

Even if it is the smallest room in the house it should be a warm, welcoming and above all clean place.

So, this summer we replaced the broken toilet. Plain white, neat, smooth and no ledges in the bowl to cause bad staining. Then in July I stripped the walls. The wallpaper had been put on over some cheap and tacky white paint which peeled off in places so they were white and patchy now, still not calm inducing. I needed to paper, but didn't feel inclined so I stuck on a coat of yellow paint. Still not good enough.

Then yesterday I went for it. two coats of Apple Grove and Ahoy bathroom and kitchen paints. It's thick paint; two coats has covered my white and plaster patchwork walls, and the rest is obvious. I am now the proud owner of a restful, relatively tidy cloakroom.

It has everything the modern cloakroom needs.

Chi chi soap, handmade in Northumberland.

Reading matter for those in need of inspiration.

A spider plant to remove all the air-borne toxins.

And space on the wall for a picture, as yet unchosen. I want to use my poster of this, but the Princess seems to feel it's inappropriate for a bathroom. What do you think?

You are all cordially invited to drop by anytime you need the facilities.

Job done.