A letter to Brocante Home; To Alison, whose work I have read for years.

Dear Alison,

I am feeling much better after my couple of days of crotchety sickness that have made me feel headachey and bone weary and taken every last piece of my patience away. 

And although I would still rather have a copy of House Rules, because I like your writing and because it was my birthday pre-present to myself to pass the week before my happy day away, I think my cross, crotchety and impatient side has been a tad too busy the past few days. I feel like I have been chasing you too eagerly, too impatiently and too energetically, and I apologise for that. 

This afternoon, in lieu of reading your latest offering, I read over some of your archives. Because Brocante Home is like a set of Country Living magazines, or a well-worn copy of the Famous Five. I love looking back and reading your articles, and seeing how the seasons' change is captured in the corner of England where you live, my corner as well, as it happens. And I found this post; http://www.brocantehome.net/disaster-recovery/

It's about things happening that shouldn't have, about taking a breath and starting again. I loved the sentence you wrote,

Because we have to learn to live with the consequences of our own silliness and and when we recognise that silliness we have to do what we can to limit the damage, apologise for the kerfuffle, and extricate ourselves from the mess as politely as possible. 

And I'd like to ask; please can we start again?

I really am happy to have House Rules sent to me in any form possible. Heck, I'll even drive up to the wilds of Ormskirk with a USB to collect it next week if you need me to. I'd just like you to talk to me and explain if there's a problem. It's the not knowing, you see. And I know that so much of life is about not knowing, but sometimes not knowing comes across as not caring. And I do care about you as a blog writer I admire, and I know you care about me as a blog reader. I've been reading your blog since 2007. You were one of the heroines that inspired me to think, "I can do that". I read your books on the Kindle like I read Sarah Ban Breathnach, as a voice of sanity in an insane world, a reminder to slow down and to accept the limitations of life, even as I work to make it better. And I am asking you to communicate with me, to forgive me the pushy pushiness that I have had the past few days and to relax. Let me know when or if the download will be available, and then let's move on together. I'd invite you for a pot of tea, but I know you're busy.

Sometimes you just press the wrong button. It happened and I couldn’t un-happen it and I am silly and sorry and ready for another cup of tea.

I have closed the case on Etsy and I will remain patient. Please answer my email, and let me know that we can go on with life.

Yours hopefully

Angel Jem x