Dark and Difficult times Lie Ahead, Harry....

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I'm usually very positive.


I usually smile.


I usually find my stock response to most things is a giggle.





I don't feel very giggly.


I don't feel very happy.


I don't want to smile.








I want something different but I can't say what because I don't know what. I want a job... no, a career that still allows me to collect my children and spend all evening with them. I want a role that will benefit others but not crucify my family life. I want to be 3 stone lighter. I want to feel like there is more to life than a cappucino and a skinny muffin. I want to feel like I used to feel when I read books and I lived them. I want to sit and watch TV and say, "Yes, that is me and my life" like I do with Charlie and Lola without feeling that the life is crappy.


I want flowers in my bathroom and a wardrobe of clothes that I love and not just tolerate. I want to see the sunshine in the dawn and the rays hitting my face in the evening. I want to feel the sea spray and the sand. I want to make the poppies sway and the sheep bleat. I want to sit on the earth and think, this is my planet. I want to meet new people and old friends and have them all be happy to meet me.





I want to know who I am and what I am truly capable of and I want to be the best Me I can be.





With apologies, I may not be hanging around for a couple of weeks. I think a little simply abundant style monasticism is called for. I'll be back, you know I will. Hope y'all are doing fine. thanks for listening. I'll see you soon.

Comments

  1. Papoosue18 June 2007 at 17:06

    Well, take your time and do what you have to do to find your way ahead. We will be here when you get back xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ali18 June 2007 at 17:30

    Gloom. Hope it passes soon. And we're listening if it helps.

    ReplyDelete
  3. GigerVamp18 June 2007 at 18:26

    Take some time and look after yourself. We'll be here if you need us. x

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous18 June 2007 at 18:26

    I think that is an absolutely marvellous list of I wants, knowing what you want is half the battle, you'll get there - one step at a time.

    ReplyDelete
  5. julia18 June 2007 at 22:22

    Sometimes life just feel like that. Take your time and it'll pass. We'll all be lookung forward to your return.

    Julia

    ReplyDelete
  6. Everything Stops for Tea19 June 2007 at 00:08

    see you soon chick. You know where we all are if you need an ear to bend.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AC19 June 2007 at 08:57

    Hope your rain cloud passes.
    See you when a bit of sun peeks out from behind that cloud.
    Take care,
    Alison x.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous19 June 2007 at 16:26

    Sorry you are feeling low. I think you have expressed what a lot of us feel really well, it certainly struck a chord with me.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Lizzie20 June 2007 at 14:00

    I understand the feeling of being in a rut.

    Sometimes its just doing one thing differently.

    What snapped me out of my rut was a hair cut and style. How shallow is *that*? But for three years, to save money, I had been cutting and styling my own hair. Having someone else do it was a nice "change UP" and also allowed me to feel pampered for a few hours.

    I hope you return soon.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous20 June 2007 at 15:08

    I hope you manage to find what you're looking for. Everyone has periods of doubt, perhaps this is a sign that you're ready to tackle issues and make change happen?

    If you want a change of direction, it'll happen. Have faith in yourself and who knows what it out there :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous20 June 2007 at 20:10

    We have all been there - or will be... Sorry to hear this & hope your skies will turn lighter real soon (((big hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
  12. Shropshire Girl20 June 2007 at 21:39

    I hope you find your path, wherever it may lead you, and I look forward to you coming back
    Sandra.xxx.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Gill20 June 2007 at 21:44

    Just to echo everyone else's comments, I'll still be here when you feel ready to return. Hope you feel more positive soon.
    Gill x

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous21 June 2007 at 11:11

    I believe you have to put it out there when you want something, I think you have to say "I want this" and then believe you can have it.

    I made myself a wish board, it's got all the things in life that I want on it. It has my dream car, which I now own, it has the new house I wanted and now live in, I wrote down that I wanted a job that let me take my boys to school and I got that job within 12 months of writing it down on paper. I also wrote down and pinned it up “I want to go on holidays” and we did within 9 months.

    If you can dream it, see it and then go out and do it.

    I can sincerely recommend you get the book or the DVD called The Secret. It’s all about positive affirmation and how you can have everything you want if you just ask for it and head yourself in that direction.

    Good Luck.

    ReplyDelete
  15. P.22 June 2007 at 08:58

    Sometimes we need to seat and think and plan.
    I need to do the same.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Liz Harrell22 June 2007 at 15:45

    Those are some very honest words. I've been there, more often than I would like to admit. In the words of people in this region, 'holler if you need anything.'

    ReplyDelete
  17. Betty24 June 2007 at 03:43

    I hope you are getting yourself sorted out. I go through these periods in my life too. Mine has to do with age and menopause. Wishing you blessings!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. weirdbunny30 June 2007 at 22:48

    Oh don't sound sad. Go buy your self a bunch of flowers, and a box of chocs, and watch charlie and Lola, repeating to yourself that your funny, artisic and a wonderful mother - love Julia x

    ReplyDelete
  19. Racheal Miles5 August 2008 at 06:28

    Hi, I just found your blog and am late in commenting on this post but I just wanted to say that I can relate to this feeling, it comes and goes for all of us.
    Just take your time and take the pressure off for a while.

    Racheal x

    ReplyDelete

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