Dark and Difficult times Lie Ahead, Harry....
I'm usually very positive.
I usually smile.
I usually find my stock response to most things is a giggle.
I don't feel very giggly.
I don't feel very happy.
I don't want to smile.
I want something different but I can't say what because I don't know what. I want a job... no, a career that still allows me to collect my children and spend all evening with them. I want a role that will benefit others but not crucify my family life. I want to be 3 stone lighter. I want to feel like there is more to life than a cappucino and a skinny muffin. I want to feel like I used to feel when I read books and I lived them. I want to sit and watch TV and say, "Yes, that is me and my life" like I do with Charlie and Lola without feeling that the life is crappy.
I want flowers in my bathroom and a wardrobe of clothes that I love and not just tolerate. I want to see the sunshine in the dawn and the rays hitting my face in the evening. I want to feel the sea spray and the sand. I want to make the poppies sway and the sheep bleat. I want to sit on the earth and think, this is my planet. I want to meet new people and old friends and have them all be happy to meet me.
I want to know who I am and what I am truly capable of and I want to be the best Me I can be.
With apologies, I may not be hanging around for a couple of weeks. I think a little simply abundant style monasticism is called for. I'll be back, you know I will. Hope y'all are doing fine. thanks for listening. I'll see you soon.