My life is a whirlwind... but today I am slowing down.

Have you ever had one of those weeks? I don't need to ask; of course you have. And December is the worst for being busy, racing, living by lists, having too much to do and too little time to do it.

Mr AJ (Peter Kneale Solicitor) has an exam on January 6th. It's about Roman Law and he has me typing up revision notes. For the past two weeks I have been over familiar with the paterfamilias, with the law on legacy, inheritance, the potestas, the ius civile and all sorts of obscure things that I never thought I'd need to know about. I don't need to know about them, truly, but I type slowly and one word at a time, the same way I read, and so typing becomes a form of learning, because I have to read and make sense of it as well as just follow his voice.

Add to that a family still heart-broken over the death of a cute guinea pig; a solicitor's firm still wondering what government changes will do to our business and those across the country; and teenage children suffering from existential strife and we have enough on our plate.

And it's Christmas time. I find myself behind again on the lists I so carefully wrote in advance in September (1. Complete the craft presents by November 15th. 2. Write and post cards by Dec 10th 3. Book a  delivery slot for grocery order.... as if)

My 12 days of Christmas person will be getting her parcel early next week, my card swap people (I ended up in about 3 this year) haven't been sent off yet, reading blogs has been a distant memory and my house... oh God my house... has had Christmas layered over the dust, rather than the Annual Christmas Clean happening before I decorated. I am slobbing it this year, and no apologies.

I think that may be my mantra for 2017. No apologies. I am what I am, and if you don't like it, tough. I've cut most of my self-imposed obligations down to none this year. I don't need to go anywhere, do anything, be anyone for anybody except myself. I love carol services, so I will go to the children's services at Liverpool Cathedral because them I can sing loudly for all to hear. I love baking, so I will make a stollen and some mince pie cupcakes. I don't like making a fruitcake, but I like decorating it, so I have bought a cheap fruitcake and some blue icing to make the design I saw in a magazine last year.. or the year before.

My parents are coming to me this year, because I actually love Christmas at home. Even if they weren't, I'd be doing Christmas at home because I am tired of the massive (25) person Christmas that last year saw me eating my whole dinner off a plate balanced precariously on my stomach since there was no room at the table. That was pudding course as well, BTW.

And when my copy of the Radio Times finally appears (we subscribe, and subscribers get their copy last, it seems) I shall sit with my highlighter and underline all the things that I want to watch. And no apologies for what floats my boat.

Lordy, I am sounding assertive at last. I hope to be able to grab time between now and the end of the year to look back and forward and set goals for 2017. And to reflect on what I have achieved and what has been lost. But time has a habit of slipping past, as we know..... if I don't make it here again, then I'll wish you all a blessed and peaceful Christmas and a contented and prosperous New Year.


  1. You're not the only one lagging behind with the organisation, I hadn't made a start on anything at the beginning of December and a week where I've been full of cold has ensured that not much has been done since either. I'm not panicking though, I know it will all come together in the end, thank gooodness for internet shopping though. I'm so sorry to hear about your poor little piggy, I know how much they've all been loved since they came to live with you so I know he/she had a good life. Sending you all lots of hugs xx

    1. Illness and cold is always on the list for me.... "Take a sick day because you can't move" should go right up there along with "Buy the crackers" And, yes, it all comes together in the end.
      Thank you for your kind wishes on Olga the piggy. She was well loved, and I named her. We're getting better now, and the other two are even more cherished now.

  2. How refreshing. I find myself to be rebelling rather well at the whole Christmas malarkey. I'm buying my mince pies ready made this year :) x

    1. I love a world where buying your own mince pies is a rebellion... we live so on the edge, don't we? I may not even make bread sauce, but use a packet this year....

      Your comment made me laugh. All over the country I'm imagining a guerilla army of women rebelling quietly against the whole Christmas machine. Thank you.

  3. I am glad I didn't make a list in September! Hope you get some quiet time to do the things you like this weekend. My only resolution for this past year was not to apologise for my mess and other inadequacies. Not sure if I completely succeeded but I did try!

    1. No apologies. I am what I am. And your inadequacies are not inadequacies but strengths being used in the wrong way. Never apologise.

  4. Enjoy decorating your cake with the blue icing. I'm so sorry about Olga, she was a beauty and so well loved, she was lucky to have been part of your family.
    My cold set me behind, but hey what can you do, go with it and do what we can and make sure we enjoy it as much as possible.
    The boys will know there's cash with the chocolates, they have got used to me doing daft things with their presents over the years!
    Lisa x

    1. That's good to know!
      And thanks for your words about Olga. She was gorgeous!


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